Observe and Admire
by Heiwako
Summary: A contest entry for the Deviantart group Legends-of-Skyrim. The story of Astrid's first kill.


"Who is this?" Astrid demanded. The ten-year-old girl stopped dead in the doorway when she saw the strange man in her home. She didn't like strangers. Strangers brought nothing but pain and trouble.

Solveig, her mother, skittered away from the man. She played with the skirt of her dress nervously. "Astrid, this is your uncle, Alexey. He's going to be living with us now that your father has passed away."

"Where were you before?" the girl asked warily. "Maybe if you had been here, Papa wouldn't have been killed by those bandits."

"Adventuring," Alexey said with a lazy grin. "But I found I want the home life. My sister and I used to be really close when we were little." The gaze he gave Solveig made her squirm. "I couldn't leave you two alone to fend for yourselves. You're family. My family. And I mean to take care of you. Don't worry. I'm not trying to take your pa's place."

"Good, because we don't need anyone to replace Daddy." Her father had died only two months ago and it still hurt her to even think about how she would never see him again. Astrid flounced pasy her uncle to the thin curtain separating her bed from the rest of the one-room home. She wasn't going to let this stranger see her cry.

"Astrid, don't speak to your uncle that way!" her mother said, horrified.

"Don't worry, sis," Alexey got up and put his arms around his sister. He squeezed her tight. "I'm sure I'll mostly be here to observe." He paused as he nuzzled her hair. "And admire."

If Astrid hadn't left, she would have seen her mother shiver.

* * *

><p>The next few years were mostly quiet for the small family. Solveig and Astrid ran the family's alchemy shop while Alexey helped around the house with repairs. Astrid had to admit that he wasn't completely in the way, and she liked that he seemed to keep any suitors from coming to her mother's door to try to replace her father.<p>

She was out in the greenhouse picking some lavender when Alexey came in. "You know, when I first came here, I remember you looked like a regular bean pole," he said with his hands held behind his back. "You looked more like a boy than a girl."

"Golly, thanks for the compliment," Astrid said dryly. At fourteen, she had finally started to grow into a woman's body. Her breasts constantly ached from puberty, and she felt so awkward and gangly. "You really know how to make a girl feel good."

"Heh, I admit that I'm not really great with words," Alexey admitted. His eyes roved over her form, taking in her dress, an old one from her mother. "But I'm wonderful with gifts." He pulled his hands from behind his back and offered a package to Astrid. "A beautiful young woman as yourself deserves at least a few new pretty dresses to match."

Astrid squealed as she took the package. She tore the wrapping and gawked at the light blue cloth. "Oh, this is too fine," she protested. The teenager tried to give it back. "I couldn't work in this." Although the store had survived, they had never done exceptionally well without her father to deliver herbs and potions to further away villages and farms. Clothes had to be practical. It's not like they would ever go any place fancy.

"It's a gift," he insisted, pressing it back into her arms. "Maybe you'll wear it to a festival or something."

"Okay." Astrid hugged it to her, unable to believe how soft the cloth felt.

"Why don't you go try it on?" Alexey smiled. "I want to observe how well it fits and admire it on you."

"Okay!" Astrid smiled as she ran back to the house. As she entered the building, she bumped into her mother.

"What's that, honey?" Solveig laughed. "I can't remember the last time you looked so happy."

"Uncle gave me this," Astrid admitted, feeling shy. "He wants to see me wear it."

"Of course he did," Solveig whispered. "The neckline looks a bit low. Be sure to wear a shirt underneath."

"But it'll look rumpled!" Astrid whined.

"Listen to your mother," Solveig insisted. "I'm going to talk to my brother."

Astrid moved to the privacy of her sleeping area. She could hear her mother leave the house. The front door didn't quite close as she left.

"What do you think you're doing?" Solveig hissed.

"Just giving my favorite niece something nice to wear," Alexey responded lazily. "Pretty girls deserve pretty things."

"I seem to recall you saying something similar to me when I was her age," Solveig responded. Her breathing sounded labored like she was trying to not panic.

"Are you jealous, sweet sister?" he laughed. "Afraid of being replaced?"

"Not in the way you're thinking," Solveig said. "Don't you dare touch her."

"I'm not some depraved sicko," Alexey scoffed. "I just want to observe and admire my growing niece."

"That's what you always say," her mother whispered. The next part was almost too low to hear. "But it's not really true."

* * *

><p>As the years passed, Astrid liked the gifts her uncle gave her, but she hated how his presence made her mother so upset. Mama always seemed so on edge when her uncle would come to visit. Despite his initial claim of wanting to settle down, Alexey would still go traveling for months on end. Solveig was always happy when he was gone, but the moment he returned, she would become isolated and depressed.<p>

It seemed off. Alexey always brought lots of gifts and treats for them. They ate well when he came home, and he always had interesting stories.

"Look at you," Alexey said as he took a long drink of mead. "You've gone and became a woman while I was gone. Doesn't really seem fair."

Astrid remembered how she used to feel flattered at her uncle's comments, but now they made her uncomfortable. "Thank you," she said with a smile. "It had to happen sooner or later, right?"

"I suppose so." His eyes roamed over her body, lingering on her full chest. "Not that I'm complaining. I doubt any man could complain about how pretty you turned out."

"Hm," Astrid answered nonchalantly. "Mama, may I go out tonight? I need to gather some lunar moth wings."

"Of course, dear," Solveig's eyes flickered towards her brother for a second. "Just be careful, okay?

"You know I will." Astrid kissed her mother's cheek. "I'll be back before midnight, okay?"

After her mother nodded, the young girl started to leave. "What no kiss for your uncle?" Alexey teased.

"Sorry, Uncle." Astrid moved to kiss his cheek too, but he moved at the last second so she kissed his lips instead.

"Oops," he said. "My mistake."

"I gotta go," Astrid said, hurrying out after grabbing her basket.

The next few hours passed too quickly with too little success. Normally Astrid was excellent in catching the moths, but tonight her mind was on her odd uncle and her nervous mother instead of lunging at the right moment.

Finally, she decided to call it an early night. The lights were still on in the house as she approached. At least her mother wouldn't need to worry about her.

Before Astrid could open the door, she heard her uncle's voice. "Come on, Solveig. I just want to observe… and admire." He sounded drunk, and something else that Astrid couldn't identify.

"Alexey, please."

"Do it! You owe me for taking care of you since we were little and again when your husband died." Astrid started at how ugly her uncle's voice sounded. She moved away from the door and to a window. She knew she shouldn't eavesdrop, but something weird was happening.

She grabbed her mouth with her hands to hold in a scream. Her uncle was looming over her mother while the woman had her skirt hiked up over her hips. She was crying as she touched herself in her private place. Alexey was watching her greedily as he jerked off over her.

The young girl slumped to the ground, unable to watch more. She could hear her uncle moaning and her mother softly crying until a soft grunt indicated he had finished. "See? That wasn't so bad, right? I help take care of you and you take care of me. That's what family does, sweet sister."

A muffled response could only be her mother struggling to get away as her brother kissed her. "I hate you," she cried.

"You don't mean that!" Alexey screamed. "If you did, then we couldn't do this any more. And then I would have to have my young, innocent niece help me instead. Do you want that?"

"No, no," Solveig wept. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I just get scared. Please, Alexey. I don't hate you."

"Prove it."

Astrid couldn't listen to any more and fled.

* * *

><p>Hours later, she finally came back. After she had managed to cry herself dry and clean her tears so her mother wouldn't know that she knew.<p>

"Where have you been?" Solveig demanded. She jumped up from her seat by the table and ran to her only daughter, hugging her tight. "I was so scared!"

"It's okay," Astrid whispered. "I'm sorry. I fell asleep and lost track of time. Please forgive me."

"I could never be mad at you, hon," Solveig said. She kissed the top of her daughter's head. "You're a good girl. You know that?"

Astrid looked over at the lump that was sleeping in her mother's bed. "Yeah, Mama, I know."

* * *

><p>"You know, don't you?"<p>

Astrid looked up from her gardening to see her mama standing nearby. The older Nord wrung her hands nervously. "I don't know how, but you know. I see you sometimes looking at me sadly or wiping your face. You know, don't you?"

"Yes." No sense denying it now.

"I never wanted you to know," Solveig wept. "You must think I'm so weak and worthless."

"No, Mama! Never!" Astrid jumped up and wrapped her mother into her arms. Solveig sobbed into her shoulder. "Alexey is scary." She stroked her mother's hair. "You don't have to suffer him any more. We can run away. He doesn't have to know where we are. We can be safe."

"It won't work," Solveig wailed. "I tried that when I met your daddy. We moved far away from Alexey, but he still found me. I can never get away from him. And if we do, he'll come after you next. The only way to keep you safe is to give him what he wants. He can't control it, he never has. But if I do what he wants, at least I can keep him sated from his depravities."

Astrid sincerely doubted that. Her uncle had been "playfully" slapping her bottom when she passed him lately, and he rarely bothered to try to hide the way he gazed at her breasts. Not to mention the less than vague innuendos of what her body must feel like.

"We'll figure something out," Astrid promised.

* * *

><p>When Astrid woke, she could tell her mother wasn't there. She always knew when she was alone in the house. She blinked when she went outside, the morning sun was extra bright today.<p>

"Mama?"

She wasn't in the greenhouse or working on vegetable garden. The horse was still in the stable, so she hadn't gone to town. Her cloak was still on its hook, so it was unlikely she had taken a long walk to look for herbs.

"Mama?!"

She wasn't in the outhouse or using the bathing barrel. She wasn't reading on her bench facing east.

"Mama!"

Astrid ran down to the river. It was her mother's thinking spot for when she was feeling particularly sad and didn't want to make Astrid feel bad too. For a brief moment, Astrid's heart leapt with joy when she saw her mother sitting by the water. But the older woman was too still with her head slumped down and her hair hiding her face.

"Mommy! No!"

Astrid grabbed Solveig, but it was too late. The body was long cold and the blood had congealed on the long vertical cuts on her wrists. She didn't care. She shook her anyway, hoping against hope.

"Mommy, wake up! Please, please, please," she begged.

But Solveig couldn't. She was gone.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe that she's gone," Alexey said morosely. "She was my little sister. I was supposed to take care of her, and she killed herself while I was gone." He took a long drink of his ale. "I should have been here."<p>

He really believes that, Astrid thought numbly. He really believes that he could have saved her. Maybe he was right. Maybe if he had been here, she would have been too scared to commit suicide.

"Don't worry, Astrid," Alexey looked at her with bloodshot eyes. "I'll take care of you from now on."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Astrid muttered. "If you'll excuse me." She went to her sleeping area and pulled out the note her mother had left her.

_Dear Astrid,_

_I can't keep you here because of my cowardice. It's not fair to put you in danger any more. But I can't spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder, wondering when he'll show up again. Maybe with me gone, he'll lose interest in you. Please, leave this place. Find a new home and make a new family. Be happy and know that I'm finally at peace._

_Love you with all my heart,_

_Momma_

"Don't worry, Mama, I'll leave soon," Astrid said as she crumpled the note before tossing it into the fire. "I just have one more thing to do. And I need your help."

* * *

><p>"You made dinner for me?" Alexey asked, sounding pleased. "You didn't have to do that, sweetie. I could have taken you to the inn or something. I don't mind to treat my favorite niece."<p>

"Cooking made me feel better," Astrid said. She grimaced when Alexey grabbed her ass, lingering as he rubbed it lovingly. She placed a plate before him. "Here, eat."

"What about you?" he asked, seeming pleased at her lack of reaction to his touch.

"I want to see your reaction first," Astrid simpered. "I want to make sure everything is perfect for tonight."

"I'm sure it is!" Alexey said. He took a huge bite of the fish stew. He chewed it thoughtfully. "I've never tasted anything like this before. Did you use a new spice?"

"Oh yes! In fact, you could say Mama helped me with it," Astrid laughed. "Go on, eat more. Tell me what you think. I want your feedback." She batted her eyes. "And I was thinking afterwards, maybe you and I could have some… intimate time together."

Alexey's eyes widened greedily. He grinned as he shoveled the rest of his meal into his mouth. "It's wonderful! The best I ever tasted." The older man started to cough. His face purpled as he grabbed his throat. "I think I swallowed wrong though. I might need some water." He coughed more, his face contorting as he stood. "What's wrong with me? What did you put in the food?"

"Did you know that Nightshade only grows where someone dies?" Astrid said calmly as she pulled a chair out to sit on. "It's also a very potent poison. Along with silverside perch and jazbay grapes. Probably not the best ingredients for dinner though, huh?"

Alexey tried to stagger towards her, but he fell to his knees. "You bitch. How dare you?" he gagged.

"I dare because you raped my mother, you asshole!" Astrid yelled. She kicked him so he fell on his back. "And you would have raped me if I had given you half a chance."

She sat back down in her chair, seeming to have regained her calm as she leaned back. "But I figured I would rather take action than cower the rest of my life being scared of you. And I have to admit, I like this. I like this a lot better."

"What are you going to do to me?" Alexey asked weakly. He couldn't even move now. His face was purple and bloated, the sharp contrast of his veins obvious against his skin.

"Me? Oh, nothing. You did plenty by eating so well. I put enough to make it lethal, but not so much to make it quick." Astrid laughed as she propped her feet up on the dinner table. "I just want to observe...and admire."


End file.
